Everybody has heard the saying “Happy wife, happy life.” Men have been saying that shit forever. Usually, everybody laughs, the husband shrugs his shoulders, and somebody gives him that look like he just revealed the secret to a successful marriage. Every time I hear it, though, I think the same thing: What the fuck does that actually mean? Because if what you're really saying is, “Whatever keeps my wife happy makes my life easier,” I don't think you've discovered the secret